Exit Humanity: Ole Time-y Zombies

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There is something reasonably awesome about historic horror movies. No cellphones, GPS, or internet. In fact, limited or no technology at all. Not to mention no smarmy, snarky attitudes about the creatures and monsters encountered. I guess people in the past still had a nice, healthy fear of God, the Devil and things that go bump in the night. This brings me to a Bloody Disgusting Selects film called, “Exit Humanity.” I had gotten home a few hours earlier from seeing the fantastic “Django Unchained” and decided I was still in the mood for something Western. Exit Humanity takes place not too not long after the American civil war when a Southern veteran finds himself in the middle of a zombie outbreak.

Our hero is named Edward. But we are actually told the story more by his descendant in the form of a voice-over reading Edward’s journals of the ordeal. Poor Edward. First of all, he could be any hipster off the Urban streets of today. He has the long-ish unkempt hair, a prize beard, white henley shirt, suspenders, tall boots, weathered leather jacket, journals like a fiend, and has a general displeasure with the world around him. Of course he does have valid reasons for his emo. Not only did he survive the hells of war, but the story opens with him returning from a hunting trip to find his wife zombified and his young son missing. He soon sets out to find the boy and kill lots of undead.

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Now here’s some cool stuff for you, the zombies are pretty tight looking. They have this chalky, pale white skin. And dark black eyes. They also give a good shamble walk and don’t seem to mind attacking in water. There are also some bad ass animated sequences spliced in. I guess you either love it or hate it, but I thought those scenes were pretty neat. Maybe an odd choice given the rather serious tone of the film. Yet, I liked it and found them well done.

The movie is divided into chapters. Chapter one sets the scene for the movie, and I was none too happy at first. Frankly, I was already getting tired of the hipster man sobbing and carrying on. Sorry if that sounds cold. Actually, I’m not sorry. Anyway, Chapter Two introduces us to a fellow survivor and veteran. His name is Issac and he has a very welcomed sense of humor. Poor dude has lost his family, and his sister has been kidnapped. It seems there is a corrupt old General (played by the iconic Bill Moseley) who is leading some of his men on a quest to out live, out last, rape and pillage. He also has a surgeon in his clutches trying to find a zombie cure. We get to meet that little crew in Chapter 3. In Chapter 4 we meet a totally awesome character named Eve played by Dee Wallace. Eve is an old timey medicine woman, but don’t get her confused with Doctor Quinn. Oh, and shes got a secret.

So all in all, I actually really liked this movie. In fact, I am being careful to not spoil it for anyone. I think it deserves viewing if you consider yourself a horror and/or zombie fan. There is a nice twisty-twist in there too. It took me until about halfway in Chapter Two to really start enjoying it. I wasn’t roped in by the Hipster figure and his sadness and the whole narration thing. I was pleasantly surprised to have really liked it and found myself engaged and along for this historic ride. I didn’t personally find the movie scary aside from a couple jumps, but I still liked it nonetheless.

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